We all have self-limiting beliefs in one way or another. However, if we want to be successful we need to learn to let go of these beliefs; beliefs like denial and resistances. Many of these self-limiting beliefs result from stories that we have created in our mind. When bad things happens we tend to defend, over rationalized or protect ourselves as part of our survival instinct. Unfortunately these kinds of behaviors keep us from moving forward.
Do you make excuses for procrastinating? Do you blame others for your lower performance at work? Are you blaming your excessive weight on your genetics? If so, it's time to learn how to make some mental adjustments so that you can really enjoy your life and experience a much more abundant and fulfilling life.
Abundant and prosperous people face the same difficulties and discomforts that the rest of us do but they have learned how to take appropriate actions to avoid negative consequences.
The basic principle to learn is to take responsibility for your life. It is up to us to be successful, overcome challenges and deal with drawbacks. Sometimes there are things out of our control, but we can choose to acknowledge this situation, understand the red flags, find a detour, keep moving and take positive action. This sometimes implies that we have to take risks.
Why denial is the number one self-limiting obstacle?
Denial means to hide or ignore that we are facing a problem or dealing with challenges. Denial provides a set of myths and excuses to keep us from progressing. When we are in denial we use lots of excuses and blame to justify lack of action or passive interpretation of things. If you are in denial you most commonly use these terms:
- I don't want to be the center of attention.
- I prefer to keep my mouth shut.
- This is just temporary.
- I will not be fired; I am indispensable.
- I am waiting for the storm to pass.
These passive phrases provide us with justification or rationalization for something that is not working out and let us maintain the status quo. We are able to comfortably maintain the same state of mind and stay in our comfort zone. Self-limiting beliefs have also to do with poor self-esteem. Thoughts that accompany self-limiting beliefs include:
- I am not good enough for that job.
- I have not the right personality for that job.
- Nothing I do is ever noticed by others.
- Only good-looking people are successful.
- Maybe next year I can try that.
- I don't have a voice in this company. No one every listens to me.
- My family have been in poverty forever and I don't expect this to change.
When these types of thought occur it is necessary to turn them around. Rather than thinking thoughts like those above, turn them around:
- I am good enough and I deserve that job.
- My needs are as important as everyone else's needs.
- I may not look like a movie star but I have talent and personality and these qualities are more important for success.
- I can handle pressure I am a great multitasker.
- Poverty is not a fate. I am resourceful and dynamic and I am working towards change.
Our thoughts about ourselves, or our physical traits or talents and skills reflect how we act in front of others. Are we proud of our skills or we try to keep them to ourselves in the hopes that we will be seen as being humble? Humble, by the way, mean "teachable" and not shy, retiring and unassuming. Successful people, on the other hand, are more committed and determined to make sure everybody knows that they are the most qualified person for the job, promotion, business deal or transaction. There is no room for humility or passivity in their lives.
People who know how to overcome self-limiting beliefs find other ways to deal with change and the unknown. Don't think that you can't do it just because you have told yourself so many times that you don't have the right personality or talent that you actually believe yourself. Some times the worst thing that we can do is to believe our own thoughts. To enjoy a successful and more exciting life, a place of possibilities and dreams, we have to learn how to transform our self-limiting beliefs into self-empowering beliefs.
Solutions
You can identify beliefs that are self-limiting, beliefs that are not serving you or that are limiting your success, and replace them with positive ones that support your success. Here are some ideas to help you on this exciting quest:
- Make a list of what isn't working in your life.
- Determined the most important areas of your life that need attention (family, career, love, finances).
- Review your goals, focus on a successful future.
- Ask a trusted friend or colleague what beliefs you seem to be manifesting that are not helping you move forward.
- Ask yourself insightful questions, do some inner work: write a journal, create your ideal day.
- Face what isn't working first, create a strategy plan.
- Make a list of positive things you wish to happen to increase your chances of success.
- Acknowledge your successes and achievements, remember you are greater than you think.
- Seek competent professional coaching; an NLP coach can help you developed effective intra-person and inter-personal communication skills.
- Seek a trained hypnotist to help you eliminate self-sabotaging beliefs and self-criticism that are not serving you and help you create a new set of self-talk words and mental programming for success.
Everything starts with your thoughts and mental processes. Words have power and it is important that you learn to use them correctly in your advantage. Believing that you are worthy of love and respect creates an aura of appreciation around you. You deserve to be successful and you are worthy of everything you want to achieve. Don't settle for less that what you deserve. Once you understand that, your confidence will soar.
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